Mike McClement (Think Confidence)

It’s a fact that first impressions count. Like it or not, our first impressions of people can significantly affect the way we perceive them, deal with them or even listen to them.

It takes just a very quick glance for someone to evaluate you and form a judgement when you meet them for the first time. Without even thinking consciously about it, the person forms an opinion about you. In literally just one second they’re basing this on your body language, your appearance and your demeanour. That’s why first impressions count. Good or bad first impressions can literally make the difference between success and failure.

These first impressions can be nearly impossible to reverse or undo. That’s why it’s so important to get it right. The last thing you want to be doing when you meet someone is to give away any sign that you lack confidence. Any negative first impressions you give will set the tone for the relationship that follows. So, regardless of whether it’s in your career or your social life, giving the best possible first impressions is vital.

More often than not you’ll have prior warning before you meet someone new. That means you’ll have time to prepare to give the best first impression. You don’t need hours for this; you don’t even need minutes; just a few seconds will do as long as you know how to make the most of the time you’ve got. You’re considering body language, facial expressions, eye contact, clarity and strength of voice and posture.

In short, your sole focus during that window of time before you shake the person’s hand should be on looking confident. To do this you need to employ all the traits that constitute assertive behaviour (go to http://www.thinkconfidence.com for assertiveness tips) Start this straight away the next time you meet someone new. 

If you want to give the best first impressions to people, it’s essential to remember names. People who remember names tend to be perceived by others as confident. It’s impressive if you meet someone and they then address you by your name; it’s even more impressive if they do this when you’re one of a group of people they’ve just met.

Remembering names is a simple concept that can really help you to stand out, give the very best first impressions and be seen as a confident person. People seem to think it’s much more difficult to do than it actually is; you’ll have heard people say ‘I’m hopeless at remembering names’ – maybe you’re one of these people yourself!

The main reason why people struggle to remember someone’s name is that they don’t register it in the first place. When you meet someone for the first time your senses are drawn mainly towards what they look like and how they behave. Without realising it, you get distracted from what they actually say. Of course, one of the first things they’ll say is their name – and that’s where the problem lies. You can’t forget their name because you never actually heard it in the first place.

For more first impressions tips and loads more advice on self-confidence, go to http://www.thinkconfidence.com

Hi to everyone who came to my confidence building and assertiveness courses in Birmingham this week. It was great to meet you. Don’t forget to keep that gremlin muzzled. Let me know how you get on. For more tips go to www.thinkconfidence.com

All the best

Mike

One place left on courses in central Birmingham next week. Confidence Building 26 Jan and Assertiveness 27 Jan. Knock price of £125 per delegate. Price includes lunch. www.thinkconfidence.com

Discounted place available on my next Confidence Building course in central Bristol on Wednesday 19th January – £99

email  mike@thinkconfidence.com or call 01364 649155

Hope you had a great Christmas.

Have you thought seriously about your plans for 2011? If not, don’t wait too long otherwise you won’t achieve anything like as much as you could. If you’re looking for Divine intervention, go to page 53 of my book Brilliant Confidence. I tell Olga’s story.

Olga came on a confidence building course I ran. One reason she lacked confidence was that she had no direction in her life. She used to just coast along, never really feeling any sense of achievement. Olga tried the concept of Mind Mapping to free up her thought processes. It helped her to focus her thoughts and to create a plan, not just for the next few months but for the next 5 years! You’ll get a really good feel for the Mind Mapping concept and for how it suited Olga.  

Happy New Year and Good Luck

go to www.thinkconfidence.com for more advice and handy tips

I find it harder to get myself motivated when it’s cold. I find that keeping a reasonable degree of fitness helps hugely with keeping me motivated and alert though.  Don’t get me wrong here – I’m not some kind of fitness fanatic but I do believe in keeping healthy.

It doesn’t matter what it is that you do, just walking for a few minutes outside for instance, is better than doing nothing. Jogging is even better but I know it doesn’t suit some people. Swimming is great too, but if you’re like me it doesn’t appeal. Think of something you can try out. If you’re doing something already, well done, I don’t need to convert you, you’re already on board (if so, you might consider replying to this blog to give me some support!)

Of course, as with all these things, you won’t see or feel the benefit until you try it.

Ask yourself if you do anything to help your body to help your mind? If not, you’re missing a trick. It is absolutely true what they say – fit in body really is fit in mind.

Have the confidence and self discipline to have a go.

Visiting www.thinkconfidence.com will help

One place left on our assertiveness courses coming up – Birmingham 25 Nov, Bristol 26 Nov, London 1 Dec. Discounted price of £99 per person. Would be great to see you.

I don’t know about you but I’ve found that the lighter mornings have presented a real opportunity …. Mind you, I’ve had to grasp it. It would I suppose have  been easier and more relaxing to stay in bad even though I was awake. But of course that would be plain stupid. So my suggestion is simple - get up when you wake up and do something with the time available. You’ll do nothing of course unless you have a plan. What’s this got to do with confidence? Everything! Make sure what you do with the time is nothing to do with work. It’s your time. The end result will be that you go to work in a more positive frame of mind. Try it and you’ll see. It’s difficult to feel and be confident if you’re not positive in your mindset. Good Luck. Go to www.thinkconfidence.com for more tips.

Just had a last minute cancellation on my Confidence Building course in Bristol tomorrow (20th). One place still available at knock down price. Contact me through www.thinkconfidence.com Would be great to meet you.  I take a maximum of just 6 people on these courses so this is a great opportunity. Be confident … give me a call or talk to Jenny in our office.

Following on from my last blog about perception, if you really want to find out how others perceive you, why not try my free Reality Check? It’s a great way of getting honest feedback from your friends, colleagues and relations. You’ll need to go to www.thinkconfidence.com and click on Personality Tests. The unique thing about the Reality Check is that the feedback you get from people is completely anonymous – you won’t know who said what about you.

All you have to do is think of at least 5 people who know you well enough to give you some honest feedback. They’ll complete a simple multiple choice questionnaire about you online. They’ll score you on communication and body language, character, personal style, approach to life, how you deal with conflict, your confidence levels and their overall impression of you. You just enter their email addresses and our system automatically sends out the invitations. At the end of the process you’ll get an anonymous confidential report containing everyones’ feedback. You might well be surprised at the results. Interestingly, the vast majority of people come out better than they thought they would!

Now that’s a real confidence boost!